Pep Talk for my People (...currently in a Quarter-Life Crisis)

Lately, I've been in this thing they call a 'Quarter Life-Crisis'.  (Don't know what a Quarter-Life Crisis is? Click HERE.) Actually, it's been longer than lately.... it's been about a year now. One year ago, almost to the day, I started to realize that I was very close to all my dreams never coming true. I realized that I had, basically, made a mess of my life.... that I was unsatisfied in almost every area. Don't get me wrong, I was, generally, a happy person. I had everything I needed, but I wanted so much more. I don't think I knew, specifically, what I wanted more of at that point. And to a certain extent it's still hard to name. I just like to call it 'space', now.... an 'enlarged territory', if you will.
(Do you have the sudden urge to listen to Donald Lawrence's "Bless Me (Prayer of Jabez) right now? I thought u might. Click HERE. You can thank me later.)

Anyway, the more I talked to my friends and associates in my age group, the more I started seeing that yall are, basically, feeling the same way. I've heard all of yall express the same, general dissatisfaction with the status quo of your lives. I've heard all of yall express a sense of urgency in changing things in your lives now in order to reach that point where dreams meet destiny faster. I want to put that out there because one of the most frustrating aspects of this 'place' we're in is the feeling of isolation...that feeling that no one really understands. The truth is quite the contrary. We ALL understand. I have the most diverse circle out here.... rappers, singers, producers, writers, event planners, doctors, nurses, professors, ministers, accountants, entrepreneurs, lawyers, chef's.... we got it all, yall. Look around you.

Some of yall do a few of these things, with yall's bad selves! Stick with it! I know it's not bringing in the money yet, but hang in there. No matter how many times you fall, always find the courage to get back up. Continue to walk by faith. Know that there is a plan.
To those of you that haven't tapped into your dreams yet....Be encouraged. Just because you don't know what the plan is, doesn't mean there isn't one. God has a plan and a purpose for all of us. He has not forgotten you.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." ~Jeremiah 29:11



Take faith in the fact that the Lord himself has an 'expected end' for you. We need to all make sure that we are lining up with his plan and not wasting time trying to come up with our own. There IS no other way. Think of it as a GPS system. The destination has been established. The first route he gives you is always the least complicated. Every time you go off course, he's forced to reroute you.... that's when things start to get complicated and time consuming. I'm telling you. I have tried (to make it. I couldn't take it. I. had. to. face. it. That there is no other way.... HAHA) to make God work my plan. He just doesn't operate that way. I've wasted time, energy, and youth trying to do it my way. It just doesn't work. I'm enforcing that and reinforcing that, because some of yall really think you can be successful without total submission to the will of God. I love you all. That's why I need to flat out let you know that it's not going to happen. Only God can give increase.

"So then neither is he that plants any thing, neither he that waters; but God that gives the increase."~1 Corinthians 3:7



Anyway, I just wanted to take a minute to encourage the people I love. I know it's hard and the path is unclear, but just keep walking and trust that the path is still there and that God is still faithful to keep you on it. That's what they call 'walking by faith'. You are not alone. God cares and so do I.

That's my word... and I'm out. Be blessed :)

The COTLG Total Worship Experience!!!

COTLG Total Worship Experience


The Church of the Living God
© Copyright-The Church of The Living God
Record Label: The Church of The Living God

So....it's only by sheer accident that I have not promoted this CD on this blog before now. Look. Peep game. This is a great gospel CD!! And I'm not just saying that because it's the church I attend or because I'm on it (background). If you want a good praise and worship CD that will bless your mind, heart, and spirit....this is IT! There's something on here for everybody!!! They make great stocking stuffers and can serve as a reminder that Jesus is, in fact, the reason for the season. If you don't have your copy yet....order it now from CD Baby!

Here's the link
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/tcotlg

GO! Listen to the snippets! Order it TODAY! Do it NOW!

or...if you know me, personally, hit me up and I can get u a copy. Either way... Do it NOW!

Randomness (....at best).

WARNING: There is absolutely no point to this blog post. It was created for the sole purpose of clearing some mental space. Don't try to make it make sense. That would be a waste of your life. Read at your own risk.

1. What is the point of asking a question you really don't want to know the answer to? We've all done it at one time or another. You really don't want to know the truth, but you feel like it's the right question to ask in that moment so you ask it anyway. The problem is... what do you do with the information once you have it? I think that's a question I need to start asking myself before I ask questions... What will I do with the information once I have it? I think it would save me a lot of mental energy. Real talk. And speaking of 'mental energy'....

2. Every once in a while, people say things that hurt our feelings. Sometimes it's intentional. Sometimes it's by pure accident. Sometimes it's someone we don't know. Sometimes it's a close friend. The point is...it happens. It happens to me quite frequently (but that's another day's post). I used to waste a lot of mental energy being pissed off at the person(s) that hurt my feelings....and when I say a lot of mental energy, I mean a LOT of mental energy. Imagine being so mad at someone that you can't even stand looking at them. Imagine that the very idea of them entering the room makes you want to leave the room. I've been there. Until, one day, it occurred to me that my hurt feelings were never going to heal, because my own insecurities were continuing to open the wounds. It occurred to me that my feelings are only ever hurt when my insecurities are exposed. So, the way to get beyond the hurt feelings is to deal with my own personal insecurities. I'm not excusing people that say or  do hurtful things. I'm saying that when it happens, the best thing to do is to figure out why it hurts so much, and then work on that. That way, even if the person never apologizes, you don't continue to stay broken. I think they call that 'building a bridge'. And since we're talking about bridges...

3. I'm about ready to start burning some....bridges, that is. People always say 'burning bridges' in a negative kind of way. Let me tell you something.... some bridges need to be burned to an asphalt crisp. Do you HEAR me?! We can't be friends, associates... I don't even want to be strangers with you. If it were possible, I'd relocate to an entirely different universe just so I wouldn't have to take a chance on running into you. That's heavy, I know. But I feel THAT strongly about it. So ummmmm.......yeah. Moving right along....as we sometimes do...

4. I don't like being around people that don't make me laugh. Seriously. And speaking of laughter....

5. People. People. People.... learn to laugh, please. I have a weird sense of humor. Always have. I would say that I'm one of those people that laughs to keep from crying, but that's not really accurate. I cry when I feel like crying, it's just that I feel like laughing way more often. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but I've come to appreciate the fact that I can find something funny about even the worst situations. It's not that I mean to trivialize or make light of anything traumatic...not at all. I just mean that, no matter what its happening around me, somehow, I always manage to laugh hysterically at something...at some point. I really think it's a gift from God....the ability to laugh, even in the midst of adversity. Everybody can't do that. Have you ever been talking to someone who's going through something and you make a funny (a REAL funny...not one of those 'I don't know what to say so I'll just make a joke' funnies) and they don't laugh even though you know that any other time they would? It's rough. I'm one of those people that ends the conversation shortly after that. I know that's bad, but that's real. I can't take it. No matter what you're going through, until the good Lord calls you home, life goes right on. I don't mean to be harsh, but it's the truth. It's ok to be sad, mad, angry...whatever. But don't lose your sense of humor. It's way too valuable.

I think I'm done....for now, that is. Thanks for indulging in my randomness.

Nothing Even Matters....

'These buildings could drift out to sea... some natural catastrophe. Still, there's no place I'd rather be. Cuz nothing even matters to me.".....

He Saw the Best....

My Thoughts on "Atheist Ministers Struggling With Leading the Faithful"

Here's the link again.... in case you didn't read my post from last night and are too lazy (haha) to go back:
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/atheist-ministers-leading-faithful/story?id=12004359&page=1

I guess my first question is: Can one be 'talked out' of their faith? I do not, personally, believe one can. UNLESS one freely opens their mind to allow such. Even then, my feeling is that one must have a reason for doing so. This is part of the issue I have with the story as a whole. It feels like there are pieces missing to me....important pieces. I googled the phrase 'unbelieving clergy' which is the title of the study done at Tufts that ABC used as a basis for the story. I was unable to find a complete study, just reports that the study is being done. I take this to mean it's not yet completed. I could be wrong. Don't worry, though, I'll find out...if I have to contact Tufts directly. I'm just curious to see the whole thing. But I digress....  Where was I going with this?.... OH YEAH..... pieces missing. My thought is that a person can not be 'talked out' of their faith without already having some doubt or already have some subconscious welcoming to allow it. Let me just make it plain. No one can talk you out of believing in God unless you, in your heart, have already started entertaining the idea that he may not exist. This does not just happen. There had to have been some event that triggered it. You don't just wake up one day and question whether or not God exists after you have believed he does your whole life. Something had to happen. I'm not saying that it makes you a bad person. I'm just saying that my belief is that a loss of faith in God is triggered by a misinterpretation of a trying event(s) in life.

I find, particularly interesting, the minister that explored atheist views so that he could 'defend' his faith. Here's my problem, no place in the Bible does God command us do defend our faith. As a minister, your job is to serve the people of God and to deliver the word of God...as it is. The Bible says...

"10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

~Isaiah 55:10-11

Your job is to give the word, not defend it. When you give it, it's going to accomplish the purpose it was meant to accomplish. That's it and that's all. For him to say "My thinking was that God is big enough to handle any questions that I can come up with,"... My thinking is this... Yes, God is big enough to handle any questions you may have but you have to direct those questions to the right place if you want the right answer. Why would you seek the thoughts of an atheist concerning the questions you have about God and expect to walk away with answers that strengthen your faith? That makes no sense. UNLESS, your intent was not really to have your faith strengthened... in which case, it makes perfect sense.

Another part I find, particularly, interesting is the minister that said... "The more I read the Bible, the more questions I had,.....The more things didn't make sense to me -- what it said -- and the more things didn't add up." He went on to say "Reading the Bible is what led me not to believe in God." He went on to question some of the miracles of God. My question is... Why are you trying to make God make sense or 'add up'? He is GOD! The word says that he is able to do immeasurably more than we can even ask or THINK. (Ephesians 3:20) Do you know what that means? You can not even begin to imagine what God is capable of. The fact that you can't make it make sense only makes him MORE awesome, not less....UNLESS, your intention is to discredit that which you can not explain.... In which case, you walking away with disbelief makes perfect sense.

*shrugs*

My next question is: Is it morally, spiritually, ethically right to continue in ministry if you no longer believe in God, just because it's your only means of supporting your family? When I googled 'unblieving clergy', I came across a quote by a guy named Richard Land. He said...

"It's not important that they believe what you believe. But it IS important that they believe that you believe it."

~Richard Land

Now let me say this... I don't agree with a lot of the stuff this dude had to say on the topic, but I think he makes a good point here. I, personally, need to believe that my pastor believes what he speaks to me concerning the word and will of God. We all get weak in our faith sometimes. It's in those times that I pull on the faith of others until mine is back where it needs to be. A lot of times, I pull off of the faith of my Pastor during those times. I'm not saying that he is not human and capable of being weak in faith at times, as well. I'm just saying that when I want to believe but am having a hard time believing, I depend on him (and others) to believe it for me. I, personally, believe that's part of the reason God gives us leaders and brothers/sisters in faith.... to be strong in faith for us when we are weak. To continue to depend on the people of a God you don't believe in to support your family is, ethically, wrong...in my humble opinion. I can't really say on a spiritual tip, because I don't really KNOW their hearts. That's the Lord's call. Notice, though, how God has continued to be faithful to them, even though they have become completely faithless. Look how God continues to take care of them and their families even though they don't even believe he exists anymore. The grace of God... He is SO good. 

Anyway, that's my word. I'm out. Be blessed :) 



Athiest Ministers Leading the Faithful

I saw this story on the news tonight. It's about Ministers/Pastors that no longer believe in God but are still leading ministries. I thought it was SUPER interesting to say the least.

Here's the actual link.

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/atheist-ministers-leading-faithful/story?id=12004359

Check it out and tell me what you think. Do yall think this is right? Can a Pastor lead a congregation in a faith he/she no longer holds? Do you have to believe it to preach it?

I'm gonna post my personal response to it tomorrow. I have SOOOOO much to say about it. I just don't even have the energy tonight. LoL

God Made Me Who I Am

I need this today.



Be blessed :)

Heaven, I Need a Hug

It has been almost two months since my Grandma passed away. I still have trouble saying she 'died', because she's still very much alive in my heart. I know that sounds cliche'...and we all know how much I hate cliche's...but that's the truth. I don't know if she'll ever 'die' to me. So much of who I am came from who she is....and I say 'is' instead of 'was' because we can all still feel her character, personality, and style around us everyday.

My Grandma played a huge part in raising me. My other Grandparents passed on when I was much younger. So, for, roughly, 15 years, she was my only grandparent. They were tight shoes to wear, but she always made it look so easy. She did it so well, in fact, that I hardly even noticed that I only had one grandparent. She came to EVERY school Grandparent's Day with me. She cooked for me. She gave me unreasonably high amounts of money to do minuscule chores. She rewarded me for good grades. She took up for me when my Momz wanted to kill me. She taught me how to iron a blouse. She even taught me how to drive and then bought my first car, paid for my first cell phone, and took me on more trips than I can even remember. I could go on for hours and these are just things she did for me when I was still a kid.

It wasn't until I went off to school that I learned her in a different capacity. Besides all the material and monetary things she did for me (I can't even begin to name them all), I learned who my Grandma was...just as a person. That was when I found out that there was nothing you could say to her that would catch her off guard or make her look at you differently. She was the least judgemental person I have ever met. I can say that with confidence. It didn't matter what you did, she still loved you. She still cared about you. She still wanted to help you. I can't tell you how many times I called her and said 'Grandma, I got a problem.' and without hesitation, she always said 'What's up?' And she never seemed surprised by anything that followed. She was just cool like that. Sometimes, she would even call me before I even got around to calling her. It was almost like she had some kind of connection to me...like she just KNEW something was wrong. The morning after My HEA and I broke up after 5.5 years, she called...first thing in the morning. And she just said 'You were on my mind when I woke up, is everything ok?' I was so fragile at that moment that the very sound of her voice triggered a break down. I struggled, through the crying to tell her what was happening. I remember her exact words... 'Baby, I am SO sorry. I know you're hurting right now. But I promise it won't hurt forever. You just keep on living. Go ahead and cry today, but tomorrow, put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. That's not to say it won't hurt tomorrow too. It's gonna hurt for while. But you still gotta keep going. You still gotta keep living.'

On nights like last night (when I can't sleep) and days like today (when I can't stop the tears), I remember those words. Words can not even express the heaviness of my heart since she has been gone. I have been, literally, sick over it. But I remember those words and put one foot in front of the other every day. As hard as it is to keep going, to keep living, to keep laughing, to keep enjoying life... I do, because I know that's what she wants me to do. Someone, recently, told me that I make it look easy. I wanted to break down in tears right there. It's not easy at all. It's not me making it look easy, it's the Lord. I know it's him, and only him, that's keeping me right now. I manage to hold it together when people are around, but in the quiet hours, when it's just me and the Lord, I struggle. God is so faithful though. He is always here. He is always with me. So, I know I'll be ok. But today is one of those days.... I could really use a hug.

That's my word. And I'm out. Be blessed.

'Don't Ask. Don't Tell': Why I Don't Believe in Exclusive Dating.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is in a fresh relationship yesterday. She was thinking of having lunch with an old friend of the opposite sex and was torn ab whether or not she should tell her boyfriend ab the lunch. The whole situation reminded me about why I don't believe in exclusive dating in the first place.  My position was 'Don't Ask. Don't Tell'. Which is my position on relationships, in general.   

I guess I should, first, warn you that this post is gonna piss some people off. My motivation, though, is the other 25% or yall that are gonna feel where I'm coming from and identify with where I'm at. I'm taking this one for the team. There are not a lot of us out here... Black women that reject the idea of exclusion before marriage. I'm not speaking about an entirely 'Open Relationship'. What I'm talking about here is more of a 'Don't Ask. Don't Tell.' type of situation. Maybe I should start there.

An open relationship is a relationship in which, within mutually agreed limits, the participants are free to have emotional and/or physical relationships with others. What I'm talking about here lies in the 'within mutually agreed limits' part of the definition. 'Don't ask. Don't tell.'(or DADT).  The mutually agreed upon limits of a DADT might look a little something like this:

*There is a mutual understanding that, for all practical purposes, this is your significant other. What this means is, the two of you do not, openly, date others. The important people in your life know this person to be your boyfriend/girlfriend/dude/lady/whatever you want to call it. You receive all rights and privileges that come with such a position. However...

*The two of you are allowed to see other people. If you so choose to. This makes better since if I say it like this...The two of you are not prohibited from seeing other people. AS LONG AS, the people you are seeing have been made aware that there is someone, who takes precedence over them, in the picture AND that person respects the boundaries of the situation. (ie.not calling at disrespectful hours, starting arguments, drawing attention to self, ect.) I know it's confusing, but stay with me because this is where it gets a little tricky...

*As long as there has not been a breech of boundaries on the part of the side chick/dude in some form, the two of you do not inquire about whether or not either of you see someone(s) on the side AND as long as there is not a necessity to do so, you do not voluntarily tell each other about the person(s) you see on the side. However, if asked... and the situation at hand warrants an inquiry, the two of you are forthcoming with the requested information.

(I, purposely, left out any sexual stipulations. I'm encouraging abstinence, not promiscuity, not even exclusion. Abstinence.)

Now... I already know what some of yall are thinking. 'AH AINT BOUT TUH GIVE MAH DUDE PERMISSION TO KICK IT WIT NOBODY ELSE!!' I'm gonna challenge you to come out of that 2x2x2 box for just a minute. Go ahead. Crawl on out. I'll wait.

Here's what I DO know. Titles are pointless. They don't stop a person from cheating. Take it from a from a person that has been on both ends of the deal. It doesn't stop a person from stepping outside of boundaries attempted to be set by it. I know this is hard for some of yall to grasp because I know some of yall live for the title. But keep it real... Did the fact that *insert cheating ex's name here* was your 'boyfriend' stop him from getting it in with *insert slore's name here* every chance he got? No. Why? Titles are not what keeps a person faithful. If a person wants to cheat on you, there is nothing you can do to stop them. The key to a person remaining faithful, is their own disinterest in seeing other people. That comes from commitment and connection.

Commitment- not to a title, but to a person. This is why I have such problems with titles. Most people use them as a way to control the people they love. 'If this person is my boyfriend, then he should act like this'. or 'If this person is my best friend, they should do this.' We start expecting people to conform to the titles we put on them as opposed to waiting for them to reveal (by their own actions) what their commitment level to the relationship we have really is. A person's commitment level is not determined by titles, but connection.

Notice I said 'connection' and not 'love'. Commitment is not always attached to love. Sometimes it is. A lot of times it's not. I know all too well that you can love somebody and lose your connection to them. When the connection is lost, so is the commitment. You don't have to believe me, but I'm telling you what I know. This is why we love some people enough to let them go. The fact that I love you, does not mean that I have to stay committed to you even after my connection to you has been lost. (If that were the case, some of us would be in some bad situations right now. So, thank God, it's not.) A person does not commit to that which they feel no connection to. And when two people feel a strong connection to each other, they, on they're own free will, cease having outside relationships. Because they have no desire to. Voluntary commitment...(meaning... I'm committed to you because I want to be) is a helluva lot stronger and more powerful than forced commitment (meaning... I'm committed to you because I feel like I have to be.) 

Once two people have reached a point where they are voluntarily faithful to each other... where the connection between the two of them is so strong that they are ready to commit only to each other... That's when you know you're ready to take the vows. This is why the only titled relationship I choose to be in is marriage. It's the only title that really matters. It's the only title that comes with an obligation to 'forsake all others'. It's the only title the Bible acknowledges. We all know that some people cheat in marriages. These people probably cheated in exclusive relationships too. My point is... concentrate on the connection and not the title. If the connection is right, the commitment will be there, and your position will remain intact.


That's my take. Discuss.

Single is not Available

A person's relationship status is not an indication of their availability.

I wish it was. But it's not. That's why you have to learn to ask the right questions. Stop asking people if they are single and start asking if they're available.

That's all I really have to say about that...for now.

I'm out.

J. Moss- Restored

This song has been in my spirit for days now. Just thought I'd share. Be blessed.

We live in two different worlds......What's it like to be YOU?

Have you ever talked to a friend about your issues of life and when they start talking back to you, you realize that they really don't understand your life? That happened to me yesterday. It kind of messed me up a little because it was someone I consider a good friend.... Someone whose opinion I seek on a regular basis... Someone I love, respect, and admire. I've done my best to be transparent with this person. Well, as transparent as I can be for the time we've known each other. And yet, she opened her mouth, began to speak, and it was like... she was talking to a complete stranger. She THOUGHT she was talking to me, but what she was saying was not resonating with my spirit at all because it felt rehearsed... cliche... Hallmark, even. My first emotion was frustration, because I felt like she hadn't really heard what I said before she gave me such a programmed response. It felt judgmental in that moment. The more I thought about it, though, I realized that she and I live in two very different worlds. And the truth is... She has no idea what it's like to be me.

I say all the time that people are a product of their experiences. The way we see the world is directly affected by the way the world has impacted us. In like manner, the impact we choose to have on the world is directly related to the way we see the world around us. What does that mean? It means that no two people, metaphorically speaking, live in the same world. So, the way I see a situation could be largely different than the way someone else does. As was the case here. My friend (lets call her Dawn) came from a place in her own world... a world that is, might I add, particularly black and white, for whatever reason. There's nothing wrong with her world being black and white if she likes it that way. BUT, my world happens to be particularly gray, for lots of reasons, in the area we were speaking about. She didn't take that into consideration before responding to what I had said. She probably has no idea that our worlds are so different. How would she know when I work so hard to keep it a secret?

I realized that not only does she have no idea what it's like to be me every day, I have no idea what her world is really like either. I know one side of it... what makes her laugh, what she loves to do, who she loves to be around. But I don't know her struggles, her issues, her fears, her regrets.... all the things we DON'T say and yet, carry around with us on a regular basis. Why are we so afraid of transparency? Why are we so afraid of giving each other a full view of the worlds we, individually, live in?

We need to understand that everybody is coming from someplace different. Dawn wasn't trying to be judgmental, but she spoke on my situation without understanding the world I live in. That doesn't make her a bad person. I still love, admire, and respect her with my whole heart. But it made me realize that I need to take a step back and really pay attention to the world SHE lives in so that I can make her understand the world I live in.

That's my word... And I'm out.

Emotional Retardation... It's very real.

Before I get started with this post, I just want to say that I work with Developmentally Disabled kids. I am in no way making fun of anyone developmentally disabled. In fact, this post has nothing to do with any physical or cognitive conditions. However, if you are sensitive to the subject and are easily offended... you may want to sit this one out.

Now that that's out of the way. Today, boyz and girlz, I would like to discuss with you a  phenomenon I like to call 'Emotional Retardation". For the purposes of this post, I'm going to define Emotional Retardation (ER) as significantly impaired emotional functioning. Still don't know what I mean? Don't worry. You will once this post is over. We have all been affected, in some way or another, either by a someones inability to  constructively express emotions or their inability to feel emotions, period. (if you haven't, then you're probably the ER one in your circle). That's what I'm talking about here.... the people in your life that didn't get enough hugs or affection as a child and are now adults that have no idea how to deal with emotions.

Just like mental retardation, there are different levels or 'classes' of ER: Mild, Moderate, Severe, and Profound. Let's discuss...

A person of Mild Emotional Retardation is hard to identify. They seem to be very normal when you meet them. In fact, it's likely that the only people that realize they have a problem are their significant other or their best friend. These are, generally, very level headed people. That is, until they experience some type of hurt. Then, they viciously attack the people closest to them... ALWAYS and ONLY the people closest to them. This class of ER is more commonly seen in women. Take, for example, Ashley (all names have been changed to protect the handicapped). Ashley's 1st cousin, recently, died unexpectedly. (Sad... I know) Her best friend, Courtney, has been by Ashley's side through the whole process. One day, Courtney jokes with Ashley (as she always has) about Ashley's inability to work her high tech cell phone and... BOOM... like a time bomb, Ashley flips out telling Courtney that she should worry more about her failing relationship instead of Ashley's phone. Low blow, right? Yes. Is her issue really with Courtney? Of course not. But that's what these people do. That's what makes them so dangerous. You never see it coming and then.... POW!

Just like that, the damage is done.

The next level of ER is Moderate. These are the people that have no problem expressing negative emotions, like: anger, sadness, or frustration. However, the moment you tell them you love them, they freeze up on you like satellite tv in a tornado. I feel especially bad for these people. They normally know they have a problem, but they have no idea what to do about it. These people can rarely compliment people either. They normally can't say anything nice or heartfelt to someone without some kind of comic relief. In friendships, they tend to hurt their friends feelings by making jokes about their appearance when what they really mean to say is "You look nice today. I like your outfit." I know. It's confusing. In romantic relationships, their significant other says "I love you" and they joke it off saying something like 'Whatever' or 'That's so lame' when what they really want to say is 'I love you too. You're special to me.' You can identify these people by their inability to share a genuine emotional moment with ANYONE...EVER. These people are this way, more than likely, because they came from families that never express positive emotions. Most of the people closest to them accept it as such and move on.

People with Severe ER, are very special individuals. These are the people in your life that feel lots of emotions at once, but have no idea how to express them. This is more commonly seen among men. They show their love for you by what they do for you. They think you should know they love you because they wash your car or take you out all the time. They get really frustrated in relationships when their significant other says "I don't know how you feel about me" or "I don't know if you love me or not". These type of statements piss them off GREATLY. They think you should KNOW they love you because of all the things they do to make you happy. I'm telling you.... if you think your s/o is severely ER, say something like that to them and see how fast they flip out. These people are very hard to read. If they are upset with you...they probably won't tell you. If they are happy with you.... more than likely, they won't tell you that either. The only way to really get to know people like this is time. You have to spend lots of time with them to learn to read their emotions through their actions. Their friends and s/o generally find them to be very exhausting people to deal with.

Finally, let's talk about Profoundly ER people. They do not feel emotions and therefore, can not express them. These people are basically, numb. They have found a way to block any and all emotions. When you are happy, they can not be happy with you... they don't know how. When you are sad, they can not comfort you... they can't feel compassion. These are the most difficult of all the ER folks out there to deal with. Their friends and s/o feel emotions FOR them, which makes having any type of relationship with them tedious and draining, to say the least. These people claim to be very logical people. They use that word 'logic' a lot. The truth is... they couldn't feel emotion if it weighed 60lbs and fell on top of their heads. The sad part is, these people are not normally born this way. They, normally, have had some tragic thing happen to them that caused them so much pain that they refused, from that point on, to feel any emotions at all. It's unfortunate. It's virtually impossible to be in a relationship with a person like this. They can't tell you how they feel..... they don't know and then they make you feel ridiculous for having emotions yourself. Smh. Do yourself a favor and stay away from these people.




So ummmmmmmmmm.....  that's my take on Emotional Retardation. I want to know what you have to say about it. Do you know some people like this? How do you deal with them?...

The Importance of Staying Connected

If you’re anything like me, you often wish there were more hours in the day. If, only, I had a few more hours to work with, then I’d have time to return phone calls, hang out a little, or catch up with that friend I haven’t talked to in a while. Recently, though, I had to ask myself… Are there really not enough hours in the day, or am I just not managing the time I have very well? It’s easy to make time to do the things we need to do, but in doing those things, it’s, also, easy to back burner spending much needed time with friends.

We all get caught up in the “things” of life sometimes. Meetings, assignments, bills, ect… Being connected to all these things at once can be all consuming of our time, not to mention exhausting. Before you realize it, your personal relationships begin to suffer from a lack of attention. Because we are caught up in these things on a daily basis, we tend to assume that our friends are as well. At the very least, we expect them to understand why we don’t have time to hang out or have lengthy phone conversations like we used to. It’s easy to become so consumed with our own “things” that we forget the importance of staying connected to the relationships we have with the people we love.

Staying connected is important. When things in your life get to be overwhelming or difficult, the first thing the devil does is try to isolate you. He wants you to think that you are alone. He wants you to believe that nobody else has ever been where you are and, therefore, could not possibly understand what you are going through. The devil is a liar! Every friend in your life has been placed there strategically. Every person has a purpose. Staying connected to each person is essential, not just for you, but for them.

My Pastor often speaks to us about reaching beyond ourselves. So many times, we get so self-absorbed in the problems, trials, and obstacles we face at any given moment, that we become too busy to reach out to friends. I, personally, have been guilty of disconnecting because, in my mind, the only problems I have time to deal with are my own. This is the opposite of what God intended. God wants us to stay connected so that we can encourage each other. Reach beyond yourself to encourage a friend, I guarantee you that, in doing so, you will find yourself encouraged. Don’t be too busy to stay connected to your friends. Remember, you need them just as much as they need you.

Why Are They So Negative?

As Christians, we have all been taught about the power of speaking positive things. The Bible says “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21) This, basically, means that we will live what we speak. If we speak positive things over our lives, we will see positive results. On the contrary, if we speak negative things, we will see negative results in our daily lives. There are some of us who understand and believe this, and therefore, make a conscious decision to speak positive things into our own lives and the lives of the people around us on a daily basis. But there are some people who, for whatever reason, have chosen to do the opposite. These are people I like to call “nay sayers”. See, it doesn’t matter how good the idea is or how great things are going, a nay sayer will always say “nay”. It’s just what they do.

There are two problems with having to deal with a habitual nay sayer: 1) Constantly combating negative energy can be very draining to your spiritual man and 2) It is contagious and if you’re not careful, you’ll catch it without even realizing it. So, naturally, the easiest way to deal with a nay sayer is to stay as far away from them as possible. But what happens when the nay sayer is a friend? More than like likely, if this person is your friend, they have not always been this way, as most of us would not purposely befriend a person who constantly professes negative things. But now, it seems like every time you say something positive and uplifting, they come back with something negative and discouraging. You want to keep your friend, but you no longer want to feel drained and discouraged after talking to them.

The first thing you need to understand is that, they are, probably, not purposely trying to bring you down. The Bible says in Matthew 12: 34 that it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. So, they speak these things, not because they want to rain on your parade, but because they actually believe them. Therefore, in order to get them to stop focusing on and speaking negative things, you have to get them to stop believing those things. The second thing you have to understand is that, more than likely, they believe negative things because they perceive difficult situations in their lives as negative. This is a sign of weak faith, since we know that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

If we know that habitual nay saying comes from weakened faith and the Bible says “Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters” (Romans 14: 1), then your job as a Christian, and as a friend is very simply to not engage. Instead of arguing or allowing your positive thoughts to be contaminated by negativity, back your words with the promises of God. No one can argue with that. Be strong in your faith. Be fully convinced that if God said it, he will perform it. In doing so, you disarm the enemy that seeks to discourage you. Continue to speak the promises of God over the life of your nay saying friend. Encourage them. Uplift them. Help them build their faith. Before you know it, they will begin speaking positive things too. After all, positive thinking can be contagious too.

You know you're from the hood when...

This is a sign that was posted on the door of a gas station I went to while I was home. Smh. Only in G.I...

Some for a reason; Some for a season...

I've always prided myself on being extremely loyal to the people I love. If you took a poll among all the people I consider friends, you wouldn't find one that would say I haven't been a good friend. I'm not saying that for a 'Hero Cookie'. I'm saying it because it's true. Once, I allow a person to be a part of my life, there are very few things that person can do to make me abandon them.

That being said, I've been struggling lately because I've been feeling the need to completely cut some people out of my life... some of which have been friends of mine for years and years. For that reason, I feel very guilty for not wanting them in my life anymore. But the truth is that we no longer have anything in common. And, to be perfectly honest, they haven't been nearly as good of friends to me as I've been to them in recent years.

So why do I feel guilty? I guess part of the guilt comes from my need to protect and look after the people I love. And the other part of the guilt probably comes from the fact that I can still remember, although vaguely at best, a time when they were good friends to me.... I mean, REALLY, good friends to me. Part of me is waiting for those days to return. The other part of me knows that they never will.

That part of me knows that seasons have changed. Trying to maintain friendships that are no longer in season can become really toxic to you, really fast. And that's what it comes down to: The pressure of being a good friend to people that have not been good friends to me, combined with the guilt I feel for "leaving" them (which actually, probably, stem from my own abandonment issues.... but that's another days journey), plus, the disappointment I feel every time they let me down has become a deadly cocktail. It's killing me. It's like Kryptonite to my emotions. It's completely draining me.

So, I've been praying that God will either send these people on their way or give me the wisdom to know how to separate myself and the strength to actually do it. It's time.

Mountains and Molehills.... And Shovels too.

Every once in a while, I'll be having a conversation with someone, and something they say will trigger a childhood memory. I had one of those moments, just now, while talking to The BFF... and, suddenly, I felt super inspired to share it with you guys. Now, Momz is gonna kill me for telling y'all this story. But hey...

Anybody who knows my Momz knows how much pride she takes in her gardening. I mean, I have to give it to her. Momz used to get out there EARLY in the morning to water the grass and the flowers. She, personally, planted every last flower you see in our front yard, laid every brick you see around the flower beds, and hand spread all that mulch. Needless to say, she's extra protective about the yard. So, all hell broke loose when, one late summer, a mole invaded our front lawn. And this was no ordinary mole... THIS mug was a beast. He was tearing the whole yard up. I'm telling you. Our yard normally looks like this...

But we woke up one morning, and it looked like this....

So, you already KNOW.... Momz was flipping out! She started obsessing over the mole and coming up with different ways to take it out the game. It was crazy! Now, mind you, I was probably around 9 and my bro was about 13. So, we were kids. I was still a just a little kid. I need you to keep that in mind in order to completely understand the heaviness of what I'm about to tell you. LoL

It was early one morning. School had just started back and Momz was about to get us to school so that she could get to work. As my brother and I were standing on the side of the car, which was parked right in front of the house, we saw Momz come out of the front door. She locked and came down the sidewalk. Then, she spotted him. She saw the mole. He was on the lawn...chillin. He probably had just woke up. He was out there stretching and getting the paper. LoL

He couldn't have had worse timing. Momz was on a mission. He had no idea what was about to hit him...literally. She told my brother, to run in the back yard and get the shovel...and hurry up. So he went to get the shovel. Whole time, Momz stood there and never took her eye off that mole. I didn't know what to expect. My bro gave her the shovel and she slowly walked over to the mole. I mean, crept up on him... Do you hear me?.... And then... She took that shovel... a shovel just like this one...

...and she BEAT that mole to death right in front of us like it was nothing! She had to to have hit that mug at least 15 times. Then she made my bro come and take the shovel back to the shed, got in the car, and took us to school  like nothing even happened. HAAAAAA!

I. Was. TRAUMATIZED!

Ever since then... We knew my Momz was crazy. My bro used to say he knew before that. That might be true, but that was my first experience with crazy Momz. I was afraid of crazy Momz....still am. LoL.

Anyway.... just a random childhood memory. I'm sure they'll be plenty more to come. LoL

It's Been A Long Time.... I Shouldna Left You...

I know it's been a minute....but I'm back!!! Thanks for being patient with me.

I never knew how many people actually read my blog until I quit blogging. Some people actually asked me when I was going to post again. It made me feel really good to know that some people actually read my stuff. Real talk, thank you! Leave me a comment or something every now and then. I want to know you were here.

But ummm...enough of that...

Just because I haven't been posting, doesn't mean I haven't been writing. So be looking out for more posts more often. LoL...I've got some stuff built up. Again, thanks for reading!

I know I've been MIA...

I'm not really sure how many people actually read my blog...but if you have been reading, then you've probably noticed that I haven't posted in a while. I have been having a lot of personal things going on...things that I'm not quite ready to blog about...in due time tho. Anyway, to those that actually read it...thanks for hanging with me. I appreciate the fact that you take time out of your schedule to check me out on a regular. I'll be back in the swing of things real soon....promise :))

What Are You Afraid Of?...

Have you watched the local news lately? If you haven't, don't feel bad... I don't make a habit out of watching the news either. And here's why: When I watch the news, I watch to be informed....to be made aware of important things (good or bad) that are happening around me. However, what I find is that I'm not being made aware of what's going on...I'm being made afraid of what's going on. Case and point: I was listening to a preview of the nightly news on the radio that ended with "More cause for alarm, Tonight at 11." I'm thinking to myself "Why in the hell would I want to be alarmed?...Why would anybody want to be alarmed?" I started thinking about how much the news is designed to scare us. Why would the government want to scare us?..

Sit back... let me take you on a trip...

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."~2 Timothy 1:7

What does this scripture tell us about fear? 1)It's a spirit and 2)It doesn't come from God. This is interesting because most of us don't regularly think of fear as a spirit, but it is. If fear is a spirit that doesn't come from God, where does it come from? There's only one obvious answer, Satan. I would venture to say that fear is the most powerful weapon Satan has. If he can scare you...he can paralyze you. If he can paralyze you, he can stop you from achieving professional goals and destroy your personal relationships without you even realizing it.

See, that's what makes fear such a powerful weapon. The spirit of fear can be, literally, put on you without you even realizing it and before you know it... you're paralyzed. Case and point:

Ever since 9/11, all we hear about is terrorism, terrorist threats, and causes for alarm. The government tells us everyday...via media... how terrorists want to take our freedoms away from us. Homeland Security even issues a "terror threat level" daily to let us know how afraid of being attacked by terrorists we should be for the day. (you can find it here) The thought of terrorism is frightening for a lot of us...we love/value the freedoms we have in this country. The thought that there are people who want to take that away from us bone chilling. It's so scary to us, that we will do anything to keep that from happening....even if it means giving up some of our rights to our own federal government. YES...I said it.

Here's my point:

The government has us so terrified of terrorism, that we have allowed them to put things like "Homeland Security" in place. We have given them the authority to listen to our calls, search our property without just cause, and even profile certain races. YES WE HAVE! Why? Because we have been convinced that we need to give these rights up so that the government can protect us. They know that they can't just take your rights from you, so they scare you into giving them up freely. That's what fear will do to you! The Holocaust, Jim Crow Laws, the new immigration law in Arizona..... All of these things were ALLOWED to happen because somebody scared somebody into it. Pay attention, people.

But I digress....

As Christians, we should not fall victim to the power for fear. Our faith should be in God. Fear and faith cannot coexist. You're either afraid, or you have faith. The Bible tells us NOT to operate in fear...

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7) and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."~Phillippians 4:6-7

So, while the world says "Be afraid!" God says "Pray and I'll give you peace."

The point I'm trying to make with this whole post is that fear is a spirit. It get's on you through your eyes and your ears. Be careful what you expose yourself to. If it makes you afraid, pray. Don't allow the fear to paralyze you. God wants you to have a full life...life abundantly. You can't have that if you are allowing yourself to be held captive by your own fear. Don't be afraid be convinced!...because you are already covered!

That's my word and I'm out. Be Blessed :))

In case yall forgot...

We used to GET IT!!!! LoL ...I'm just sayin... :))

I KNOW u didn't just call me a...

This is one of the Tea Party signs on Capitol Hill today. In case you can't tell, the word on the sign is "RENEGER". Now maybe I'm trippin... Lord knows sometimes I do... but just say the word out loud....

Doesn't it sound a LOT like.....

I'm just sayn...

I am not my hair...

I never knew so many people cared about what I did/do to my hair, until I recently made the decision to cut my hair and go natural. You would have thought I said I was going to have a sex change or something by the way people were reacting. I got a lot of "Are you SURE? and "Why do you want to do this to yourself?" and even the occasional "Are you depressed or something?" LoL. I'm like.. Calm down people. It's just hair. It grows back. The conclusion that I came to is that most of these people were afraid. They were either afraid of what I would look like, afraid of how other people would react to this change, or afraid that the change is brought on by some emotional breakdown. And while I appreciate their concern, I've come to a point in my life where I'm not operating out of my own fear. And if I ain't operating out of my OWN fear, I fa sho ain't operating out of anyone else's. You feel me?

So against popular opinion, I did what my heart was telling me to do, for me. It's an amazing feeling. It turned out cute... but even if it hadn't, I still would have been satisfied because it was never about the appearance of it. It's more about me taking control over the things in my life that I can control and making a choice ...a conscious decision to be happy in those areas no matter what anyone has to say about it. I never knew that it would be such a problem for people. I never knew that it would invoke such emotion on the part of people I love. I never knew that MY decision to cut MY hair and begin the journey to locs would call into question my emotional stability, my sexuality, and even my faith...in some cases.

You see what fear will do to you? Fear will make you take someone you KNOW very well and begin to question the very things that you have always known to be their character just because they alter their physical appearance a little. It saddens me that so many people I love and trust chose fear, 1st. Don't get me wrong... the important people were supportive from the start. The important people know that no matter what I do to my hair, the things that they have come to know and love about Mikki, will always stay in tact. And the changes I make to my outer appearance are merely a reflection of the growth and maturation happening on the inside and more importantly... they know that Mikki is still essentially, Mikki.

Don't let other people's fear stop you from doing what's in your heart. Be happy being you, because at the end of the day, only you can make YOU happy.

That's my word.... and I'm out. Be blessed :))

I know ure tired...

I know ure tired. When I look into ur eyes I see a million battles fought and won. Ur hands display track marks that give testament to the amount u've given over the years. How u've unselfishly given of ureself time and time again, expecting nothing in return. The arms that so firmly hold us all together now begging to let go. The feet that walk us through our most tedious journeys are unwilling to go on. But can we blame them? Haven't they carried our weight long enough? I want to beg u to stay ...stay and fight. But when I look into ur eyes... I know ure tired. So I'll put the selfish part of me to the side. I'll pack it up, seal it, and forget where I put it for a while. I'll put my big girl pants on and graciously let u go. Because when I look into ure eyes... I know ure tired. I'll look into those eyes and promise I'll be just fine. I'll promise to achieve all things I said I would and more. And then I'll do it. I'll graciously... peacefully... let u go, because after all u've given me over the years, the least I can do is give u that. It's the most costly gift I've given, but I'll freely give from my heart, because in my heart... I know ure tired...

Writer's Block

I have writers block.
Even writing this much is a struggle.
Searching everywhere for inspiration.
I have many things on my mind... but nothing that wants to be expressed.
I have no idea why that is.
I have no idea why I'm writing line by line like this.
This sux.
You suck for reading it. LOL
It's like someone is stealing my thoughts.... I think them and then they are gone before I get a chance to write them down.
Haven't journaled in a while either...
Maybe that would be a good place to start....

hhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

You Can Hate On Me

Saaaaang Jill!

The Need To Unplug...

Facebook, Twitter, Family, Friends, Church, School, Work, the past, the present, the future...at any given moment, I'm connected to one or more of these things. Hell, let's just keep it 100...at any given time, I'm connected to all these things...at the same time. It's always been this way. It's like...I'm not satisfied if I'm not plugged in to multiple outlets at once. I like to think that it's part of who I am. I don't know how true that is anymore. Looking back on it, I think that this need to stay busy is a learned behavior. If you've ever been around my mother for any extent of time, you know what I'm talking about. She never stops. She's ALWAYS on the move and always has people pulling her in several different directions. This is what I've seen my whole life. So, it's only natural that I would subconsciously live my life the same way...constantly going, constantly staying plugged in to several different things at once.
The problem with constantly leaving things plugged in is that they eventually burn out. It's the same thing with people. Nobody can handle the heat that comes along with never unplugging without burning out at some point. The problem is that it usually takes a burnout before we realize that we need a break. Burnout is bad. Once something is burned out, it's useless...and most of the time it can't be fixed. It never works as well as it did before, if it ever works again.
I'm dangerously close to that point. I'm mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. Right now, I feel very close to useless. I need to unplug for a while here and there. So today, I didn't take any phone calls or respond to any texts...Didn't tweet, fb, or think ab the past, present, or future...I just let my mind be free...free from thought. It wasn't nearly as easy as it sounds and I even felt guilty for a minute, but it was soo necessary.
I needed this...this time to disconnect from everything...this time to reconnect with the Lord. It was a good day :)

Is It Too Much To Ask...

Is it too much to ask...

...that a guy who is interested in me refrain from, literally, "hollering" at me from his car window? I mean....put SOME effort in.

...that he not, after getting rejected, call me out of my name (ie. "stuck up b*tch")? LoL...it's happened.

...that people do what they say they're going to do...when they say they are going to do it?

...that, since I go out of my way to be there for others....that they, at least, make an honest effort to be there for me when I need them? Or at least pretend to...

...that people actually LOOK at the correct spelling of my name before they print it on things of importance (ie. trophies, certificates, diplomas, ect.)? I have to admit...after 24 years...I'm a little annoyed by that.

...that the lady at the Optometrist's Office NOT sneeze on her hand and then wipe it on her shirt?......just NASTY!!!!

...that people not speak about things of which they have no working knowledge? Seems like common sense....but you'd be surprised.

...that people not sing along to songs they don't know the words to? LoL...I know...random...but still....

...that someone actually consults me before making a decision that involves me to spend ANYTHING (ie.time, energy, money, ect.)? Some people have this REALLY bad!

...that a man be truthful about where he is and how he feels? Instead of just saying what he thinks I want to hear...

...that a man NOT send mix signals? I know...it's a long shot. LoL

...that people let their "Yeas" be "Yeas" and their "Nays" be "Nays"...instead of having a different response depending on who is asking?...I find fake people exhausting.

...Apparently so...

I Owe Him My LIFE...

Every once in a while, I get in a reflective mood. I start to think about the events of my life and how the hand of God has kept me...through everything. I can't help but give him praise. When I think of his goodness and his mercy....my heart is overwhelmed with gratefulness. The devil has tried to kill me several different ways, several different times.
A couple of years ago, he almost succeeded. He had killed my spirit, stolen my joy, and wounded my faith. I began to question everything I ever believed. I was angry at God and while I still believed he existed, I wanted nothing to do with him. I was spiritually and emotionally dead and living a lifestyle that would have had me physically following suit soon after. I was depressed and broken. I remember calling my mom and telling her that the devil was trying to kill me. I believe that...even to this day. I was afraid, because I knew he was close. I asked her to pray for me and I did the only thing I knew to do...I went back to church. I knew that God was there and if I could just make it there, I would find my way back to him. I remember praying when I left...it was the 1st time I had talked to God in almost a year. I remember saying "God, please...help me. I don't know what else to do or where else to go. I need you..." I was crying uncontrollably. I couldn't even get anymore words out. It was at that moment of total surrender that I heard God say "I never left you. I've been here all along waiting for you to come back to me." His voice calmed my spirit and his peace fell on me. That night, I RESTED for the 1st time in about 2 years. Everything was different from that point on. He, literally, snatched me out of the enemy's hands. When the devil had me thinking my life was over. God said "You will live and NOT die." When the devil said that I would never know happiness again. God said "Not so. You WILL have joy." I owe him my praise, my worship...my LIFE. Because it's only by his grace that I live. Thank you, God!

Rihanna's "Rated R" Goes Hard

I recently took a chance on Rihanna's newest album, Rated R. I have never been a Rihanna fan....for lots of reasons. But I believe in giving credit where credit is due. That been said, I have to say that this is one of the most diverse yet cohesive albums I have heard, ever. She has something on this album for everyone. She has a nice mix of rap, r&b, rock, and pop on it. That, combined with some of the realest talk I've heard on an album in a long time makes this album a must have for music lovers. I must say....Rihanna has matured well...the content of this album totally reflects that. She just earned herself a new fan right here. "Rated R" is a winner. Don't sleep on it.

Whose Team Are You On, Anyway?

If you've ever played any kind of sport, for any length of time, then you probably understand that the relationship between teammates can be very complicated but it can also be very rewarding....when you understand how to be a good teammate. Personally, I see the body of believers as a team. I know the Bible refers to us as brothers and sisters. I'm not trying to take anything away from that. We are the sons and daughters of one God, therefore, we ARE brothers and sisters. I do, however, think that as believers, we could all benefit from thinking about our relationships with other believers in terms of a team. This concept came to me as I meditated this morning on the following.

Romans 15:1-7 (NIV)

1We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me." 4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, 6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

We should all be working together for the common goal of the glorification of God. I believe it fitting, therefore, to think of ourselves as a team. Maybe, then, we should pay more attention and put more effort into being good teammates. Just like any other relationship, there are key factors that go into having a good relationship with your teammates.

1. Good teammates respect what each person on the team brings to the game and understands that they, alone, do not make the entire team. (1 Corinthians 12:14-26) You may be an excellent shooter, but it means nothing if you never get the ball. You need someone to pass you the ball so that you can make the shot....this is, appropriately, called an ASSIST. The passer of the ball, is just as important as the shooter. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, you are the ONLY person on the ENTIRE team that can make a basket. It means NOTHING if no one ever ASSISTS you. You STILL need the rest of the team. It's the same way in the body of believers. Maybe you're the best leader. It means nothing if no one will follow. Maybe you're the best singer, how great can you be if no one will ever back you up or play for you. When you respect everyone for what they are good at. People will go out of their way to make sure you get respected for what you're good at.

2. A good teammate never discourages another team member. (Romans 15:1) We all have off days. We all have days where we don't perform as well as we would like to but understand that everyone is on the team for a reason. As stated above, everyone brings something to the game. So, just because someone on the team is not performing at their best, when YOU think they should doesn't give you the right to totally dismiss their overall contribution to the team. Remember, Kobe's highest scoring game was against the Toronto Raptors with 81 points. Dually, his lowest scoring game was was prior to that, against the same team with 11 points. I'm just saying, off days happen. As people of God, we should never be in the business of tearing down the spirit of someone who is having one of those days, weeks, or maybe even months in some cases. You never know what someone is going through or how weak they may already be emotionally. All it takes is the right person to say the wrong thing, and someone's spirit could be totally destroyed. Think about it, how many members have we already lost because someone's feelings got hurt. Be careful what you say to your teammate. Support each other. Build confidence, not insecurity.

3.A good team puts the well-being of the team above their own personal desires. (Romans 12:3) It sounds cliche, but their really is no "I" in team. We do not win or lose individually, we win or lose as a TEAM. Don't be so caught up in wanting to score the winning basket that you totally overlook a teammate that is wide open and in a better position to make the shot. No one likes a selfish player. It's not all about YOU. Not in sport and not in your spiritual walk either. Do what is best for the team. Keep the goal of the team in mind, not your own personal desire to be the one to see it through.

I'm going to leave you with this....

1 Corinthians 12:25-26 (NIV)

25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

You should have no desire to see your teammate fail. You should not be happy to see your teammate having an off day. It doesn't benefit you to steal the ball from them or break their confidence so that they don't feel comfortable handling it anymore. Remember, if they lose...SO DO YOU!!!!

That's my word and I'm out....

Rules of Engagement: Rule #1...Keep it Classy

Ever get so tired of someone's crap that you wanna pull one of these....



I came so close to this the other day that it is not even funny. I was ready to slap FIRE from this clown....seriously. This person was really trying to take me there!!! If it had not been for the hand of God on me, I would have definitely put my hands on them. But I held it together. I decided tho to create my own personal "Rules of Engagement"....for those of us that need a little reminder every now and then.


Rule #1: Keep it Classy.....

Never let ANYONE make you lose your cool at an inappropriate time or in an inappropriate place. Be aware of your surroundings and always act or react within the appropriate lines of those surroundings. Understand that the only reason some people say what they say or do what they do is to get a negative reaction out of you. If you give it to them...YOU HAVE FAILED and failure is not an option.

I don't care how low they hit or how loud they talk. You MUST keep your cool. The easiest thing in the world is to flip out....but DON'T! Remember: People are always watching and your character is on the line here. Never say or do anything that would call your character into question. I don't care how loud they get, if you are in a public place...do NOT...I repeat...do NOT engage in a ranting war with them. Keep your composure and make THEM look like the idiots they are.

If you must say SOMETHING...and trust me, I know that sometimes you MUST.... Be witty...not loud and use fact, not opinion. That way, no one can say that what you said wasn't true and your character stays in tact.

I'm Surrounded By Idiots

Don't you just LOVE it when stupid people try to act like they're smart? LoL...it doesn't matter how hard they try, they always get caught up...and it's usually their mouths that give them away.

Case and point...

I'm sitting in one of my classes today and we're talking about Asian culture. I don't remember exactly what the question was, but we were right in the middle of some good ol' class participation. When one of my classmates raised her hand...



and said the following:
"One of my really good friends is not Asian but he's Vietnamese..."



LoL...I don't know what she said after that and it doesn't even matter because her whole statement was overshadowed by that ignorance she prefaced it with. And the funny part is that I heard someone try to whisper to someone else..."Isn't that still Asian?" LMAO

I wanted to smack her in the face with a map of Asia....so she could see that Vietnam IS in Asia. Therefore her friend, who is Vietnamese, is IN FACT considered Asian. Thereby making her whole statement an...



SMH...

They That Wait...

When you ask God for something...I don't care what it is, you have to be patient. I know it gets rough when you have been asking for something and, what we consider, an extended amount of time has gone by and God has not moved...or we feel like we haven't heard from him. We start to wonder if he really cares or if he's listening at all. Understand that God hears every prayer and he sees every tear. He's not ignoring you. God is not like man...he's not giving you the silent treatment because of that sin you committed last week. And although it may seem like God has forgotten you or even that he's working against you, at times....there is a plan.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jeremiah 29:11

That means that not only is God thinking/planning only good things for you and about you, but there is an EXPECTED end. Meaning, God already knows how everything is going to play out and if his plans are good....then the expected end MUST be GOOD!! Don't let anybody tell you that God is punishing you for a sin you've already been forgiven for. The devil is a LIAR!! I don't care what you've done...once you have repented....YOU ARE FORGIVEN. There's no waiting period to get back in the will of God. Remember, God is not like man.

The Bible says that God will withhold no GOOD thing from us...

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11

What makes something we ask for "good"?....the alignment of it with the word of God. In order to know what lines up, you have to know the word of God. Praying for things like financial security, a husband/wife that is saved, or the deliverance of a loved one line up with the word of God. These are GOOD things. So as long as you are walking uprightly, meaning, you are living according to the word and will of God....it WILL be given unto you. All you have to do is patiently WAIT.

Understand though, that HOW you wait is important. Some of us wait on God like this...



But the Bible says,
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Psalm 27:14

God doesn't want us standing in one spot, pointing to our watches and looking up at him like...."ummm...Lord...are you gonna do it or not?" First of all, you need to believe that he is going to perform it. And second of all, you need to get busy doing the work of the Lord. Sometimes, we're waiting on God to move and he's waiting on us to move. Get busy in ministry, get busy making sure you're ready for the blessing, and get busy praising him like it's already done....because it IS!

If you do these things and wait the way the Bible tells us to wait....you will find renewed strength...

"They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

All that means is that if you wait like he tells you to wait...he'll make sure you're comfortable while you wait. Be encouraged...God has not forgotten for you. Stop crying, calm down, and WAIT!

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To what lengths would you go to make it work with the one you love? Would you forgive the unforgivable?...Would u tolerate the intolerable?....Would stay when everything you were ever taught says "walk away"?
The older I get, the more I realize that if you love someone and really want to be with them, you're going to have to put in some work at some point. You can't just walk away when it gets a little rough...and even if you do, it won't matter because you're going to have to put work into the next one too. See, some people say that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. I disagree. I think that a relationship can be perfect for the two people that are in it if they are willing to put the time and effort into making it work for both of them. The question is...how far are you willing to go in order to make that happen?
I've heard people say that the easiest thing in the world to do is to walk away. Again, I disagree. I think walking away from the person you love is one of the hardest things in the world to do. But I think we do it out of fear. We know that walking away will hurt, but were afraid that staying around and getting hurt will hurt worse. It's a self-defense mechanism...disengagment...the idea being that if I leave you alone, then you can't hurt me. It's fear and fear does not come from God. ("God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."~2 Timothy 1:7) It's paralyzing and if you allow it to govern your life it will definitely stop you from achieving your goals and definitely stop you from loving the way you need to love in order to have the relationship you want to have
I'm learning to not be governed by fear. I'm learning that the key to protecting yourself is to not trust my dude, but to trust that God will protect my heart if I love the way he loves...unrestricted, unconditional, and unrelenting.

Thats my word....and I'm out.